As an etiquette/protocol expert, I tend to get a lot of questions on how to properly say “thank you.” Most of the questions deal with the “when” and “how” of thanking someone.
Recent examples:
A friend of mine was invited by friends of hers to accompany them to a party at their boss’ house. She wanted to know if she should send the inviting friends an email the next day, thanking them for the great time, and send a handwritten note to the Host, for the same privilege.
She explained that she sees her friends every day. But was it OK to be more formal with one over the other?
Another friend – who is up there in age and very proper — asked me if it was OK to send a “thank you” for lunch to a friend via email because she had received an email from them when she got home. She felt that it would be strange not to mention it and redundant to write a formal note, as it was a casual lunch.
I think they both were right.
There are three rules to thank you’s:
- Do say “thank you” … for a dinner, a lunch, a reference … just about anything that someone did for you. It is impressive and well-received. It is a great tool to have in your personal and professional portfolio.
- Say “thank you” in your own personal way, but in a way that is correct and appropriate. Try to have the “thank you” match the gesture. A handwritten note is very personal, always remembered and increasingly rare. Be sure to use the correct format and salutation. A quick email, a voicemail or even a thank you gift is also appropriate.
- Do it now. The Dale Webb rule of thank you’s — the longer you wait, the longer it needs to be!
As I sit here, I realize I owe at least two thank you notes … so I must sign off!
Until next time,
Dale
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